Novel Mom

Things do not suck.  Okay, let's be honest, maybe they suck a little.  I'm an eternal optimist, one of those people who irritate those  who never want to look at the bright side,  who are happy to point out what's bad  about the world and don't think they  have anything to be grateful for. I pride myself on being grateful and on being optimistic. But truly, lately things, well, they kind of suck. First, I'm a mom.  Greatest honor of my life.   My daughter is awesome.  Sarcastic, sharp tongued, witty, intelligent,  strong-willed, ambitions, driven, argumentative and isn't easily swayed.   She's the best thing that ever happened to me.   So what could go wrong, you ask?  Okay, well, she had the audacity,  after 18 years of care, worry and sacrifice,  to go off to college....four hours away.   Who does that?  Well, my awesome, driven daughter of course. That's what I taught her, after all, to go get what she wants

Suffering .... sucks.  Big time.   Suffering really sucks when it's someone  you love doing the suffering. I figured out a long time ago that one of the worst things we  can ever go through  is watching someone we love ...suffer.    I disappeared a little...from this blog,  from my friends, from life a little bit.   It's what I almost always do  when life gets a little overwhelming.   And overwhelming is a bit of an understatement for lately. We are a bit of a mess.  It was so hot and we moved all her stuff in. My daughter went away to college.   That's awesome.   Dropping her off and driving away,  not so awesome.  My heart hurt really badly.   I got a whole evening in of feeling sorry  for myself... .sobbing and feeling sorry for myself.   But it didn't last. In the morning, the phone rang.  And there was more sobbing. First time accessing the port ...she was nervous, but it wen

Parenting is not for the faint of heart.  Like at all.  I say this a lot.  And if you're out there agreeing with me, welcome to the tribe.  If you are out there thinking, hey, I don't get what she's saying. Parenting is super simple and easy, then....well, I don't know.  I guess I want to meet you. The hardest part about parenting, in my humble opinion, is when you are rolling along, like on cruise control and you think everything is going okay.  I should have learned by now that this is the time to worry, that it is the calm before the storm, that I am racing head first into a brick wall, about to crash into certain doom. Every once in awhile, I think I'm doing a good job.  Then, I find out, no, in fact, I am not doing a good job.  There seems to be ample folks out there just waiting to share this news, at any moment, on a day when I'm not on my game that, in fact, I suck the big one when it comes to parenting.  You know what I mean here, I know you do.  Fo

Wait for a man who calls you beautiful no matter what you look like Wait for a man who looks deeply into your eyes as though he's trying to remember every little detail Wait for a man for a man who kisses your forehead, the top of your head and pulls your hand close to his heart Wait for a man who makes you feel safe, warm, comfortable, treasured Wait for a man who holds you close, so close you forget everything you were worrying about before his arms were wrapped around you and he was holding you tightly against his chest who strokes your hair and face so slowly like he has nowhere else to be....forever whose eyes close gently when he's close to you because the feelings overwhelm Wait for a man who makes you smile and laugh until your smile muscles are sore and you wonder why you never smiled like this before who says he's thinking of you even five minutes after you were together who asks if you are home okay after you left him

Photo credits to D. Fuller Okay, so we all know the expression, you never know what you've got until it's gone.  That doesn't really apply to me.  I usually appreciate what I have, who I have in my life, and the blessings I have been given.  Usually.  I also know how easily the wonderful things in life can be taken in a heartbeat. I'm guessing we pretty much all do.  But, lately, I feel like you never know what you've got until it's found.    A while back, in a sad, weak moment, I reached out to a Facebook friend of mine, late one evening and asked him what men are really looking for in a woman.  His reply was telling and priceless and an omen.  He said, "I have no idea"  and in describing how he got involved with his current girlfriend, "I didn't know what I was looking for until she found me."  Okay, that's beautiful.  And I am so happy for him and his girlfriend.  Truly.  That wasn't necessarily the answer I was l