Novel Mom

We have been spending a lot of time in the car lately.  A lot of time. Life has been hard lately.  A lot of challenges. Sorrow.  Grief. Stress.  We survive...one day at a time.  And music helps.  One thing that helps is music.  My daughter, Liz, has a playlist.  The other day, she explained that the "car playlist" contained many of our favorites...Adele, Jewel, Lady Gaga, Florence + the Machine, Panic! at the Disco, classics and others...angsty female singers, angry rock music and the like. Here are some of our favorites: Shake it Out - Florence + The Machine This is one of Liz's favorite songs - has been for quite some time.  I remember walking in on Liz practicing with our friend, Ashley, and hearing her sing and play this on the piano.  Simply beautiful.  I love listening to Liz sing...and this one hits every mark. The lyrics, well, they say everything.  And you're bound to fee...

Original drawing by Sarah Steele Unless you are a Mother,  and I don't care which kind, you don't know. You don't know what it is to love before you even know, to grieve the way a mother grieves the pain, the sadness, the joy and the happiness  associated with motherhood, you just don't know. You don't know how helpless it is to stand by and watch during tough times, during good times, during painful times as your child tries to right herself and get through because she can't let you down. I stand and watch the pain,  the sickness and the frustration and I wish, I pray, I hope there will be something I can do  to simply make it stop.   When people are unkind, when life is unkind when she suffers, when she is unwell. The floor is cold, but I sit there with her until it passes.  I rub her head, if that is what she wants. I fetch a cold, wet cloth if that is what she wants. I rub the scen...

My daughter and I went to two Memorial Day Parades today.  I complained a little at first at having to get up and around on "my day off".   I am not proud to admit that, but it's the truth.  We made our way to Whitefield, found a spot at the Common and watched the parade, which included JROTC members and the marching band from White Mountain Regional High School.   Members of the WMRHS Marching Band at the Memorial Day Parade in Lancaster NH Members of the WMRHS Spartan Battalion JROTC at the Memorial Day Parade in Lancaster NH The two groups paused in front of the Memorial for speeches, including SGM (Ret) Bruno, followed by Ivory Blanchette, who served as Battalion Commander of the WMRHS Spartan Battalion during her senior year and finally Army SGM (Ret) Garett Savard with Marie Savard, who are the parents of SFC Ryan Savard who was killed in action in Afganistan.  If you would like to read more about SFC Savard, please follow this link: http://www...

I am a ranter.  I am a raver.  I am a procrastinator.  No really....I am.   I always have a lot on my mind.  I don't sleep a lot though I frequently need to rest my eyes sometimes just to give the brain a break.  I don't always have super deep thoughts - many times, they are just random and meaningless to most, but for some reason, they seem important enough to keep me awake.   I have an opinion about nearly everything and to the chagrin of those around me, I usually share it.  In an effort to give the folks around me a bit of a break, I figure, I will tell the blog a little more and subject them to a little less of me, my opinion, my ranting and raving.   Okay, so one of the things I despise the most is judgement.  People judge those around me for absolutely everything these days....even before they have the facts.  I really love The Walking Dead.  I watch and watch, and watch the episodes again; I read about the cas...

A day late and a dollar short.  It's an expression I use a lot...I mean A LOT!  Why?  Because it is a cool expression, it's a great excuse? Nope- because it suits me to a tee.  It's who I am - unfortunately.   I despise procrastination, when others procrastinate and when it affects me.  So yeah, you probably think this makes me one of those annoying women who have it all together - right?  Picture it - clean closets, freshly vacumned car interior, all bills paid on time, paperwork completed and filed, on time for everything and always prepared.,...the fridge full of healthy, nutritious meals, the dishes and laundry always done.   No.  Just no.  That's not me.  It's me on the inside - who I want to be. But it's not me.  I am a day late and a dollar short.   I want to wake up early, refreshed and energetic - exercise, spend time with the Lord, have a healthy breakfast all before I wake up my child prodigy for the day...

How typical is it that it has been a year and a half since I have posted?  Sad.  If I did half the things I said I was going to do...but anyway.  So why today?  Something's on my mind, that's why - and thanks for asking!  Father's Day.  Each and every year, I dread Father's Day.  Again, you might ask, why?  And I have no idea, really.  For some strange reason, Father's day represents loss and heartache and sadness to me.  No matter how prepared I think I am for the day, I wake up and I feel sad.  Is it because I have no father in my life, no male figure who loves me and cares about me, no - not at all.  I guess that's why it doesn't make tons of sense. The Pastor at my church always talks about how Mother's Day and Father's Day can be particularly difficult for people.  Maybe they have lost a parent, maybe they don't have a good relationship with that parent, maybe the parent abandoned them.  Maybe this is my answer...