Random thoughts and other insecurities

Okay, so it does occur to me that not every post has to be well thought out...some are just plain going to be random and meaningless and just my spouting off thoughts that are well...random.  So here is a thought for today.  I dropped Liz off at school this morning.  Lots of mornings, she rides the bus and lots of mornings I drive her to school...depends on the schedule and what time we wake up and so forth.  We have been having a tough time getting up in the morning because we are both recovering from the flu which kept us mostly in bed for three or four days...good times!! 

Today hasn't started out particularly well, but it is my positive assumption that that means the day has nowhere to go but up...we shall see.  On a high note, amongst the lunch packing and arguing about the usual stuff (Liz is pre-teen...so we argue...parents of tweens, need I say more?), Liz scrounged around to look for her iPod this morning while telling me the spring concert at school (she is in the chorus and plays the flute...and I have Advil at the ready for the practice sessions :) is going to feature a Beatles medley.    Cool.  She asks me if I like the Beatles and essentially hints around wondering if I was a youth when the Beatles were popular.  No, I happily tell her, I was not, however, I do have an appreciation for them nonetheless and she should inquire with her grandmother who was a Beatles fanatic in the day.  

As I drive to school, we listen to Let It Be, Yesterday and Hey Jude.  This puts the morning moving in the right direction.  We sing along and I am excited when the "na na na na na na na" part of Hey Jude arrives and I can joyously sing along.  This is interrupted by Liz removing the iPod from the car aux and stuffing it into her pocket, putting on her gloves, jumping out to grab her stuff...backpack (really heavy, really overloaded, really cute), her lunchbox and her flute.  And she calls out from the open door, "I love you Mom, have a good day, see you after work".  Lovely...this makes my day.  Nothing that happens today is likely to be better than that, truly.  She huffs down the sidewalk, toward the door, glancing back at me quickly.  Of course, despite the fact that we are in the school parking lot, I still drive up a bit so I have a good view of the door and can watch her walk through it.  Might seem kind of silly...she isn't a baby anymore...but I can't help it.  I need to see her walk through the door, so I can drive off and spend the day at work and know she is relatively happy and reasonably safe.  Maybe this is because I am a helicopter parent...but many are worse than me, so I can accept it.  And maybe it really just has to do with the fact that she is the most important part of my life, the greatest blessing, a gift from God and I am her Mom.  Puts things into perspective, really.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Wait for a man who....and other unfathomable twists of fate

Image
Wait for a man who calls you beautiful no matter what you look like Wait for a man who looks deeply into your eyes as though he's trying to remember every little detail Wait for a man for a man who kisses your forehead, the top of your head and pulls your hand close to his heart Wait for a man who makes you feel safe, warm, comfortable, treasured Wait for a man who holds you close, so close you forget everything you were worrying about before his arms were wrapped around you and he was holding you tightly against his chest who strokes your hair and face so slowly like he has nowhere else to be....forever whose eyes close gently when he's close to you because the feelings overwhelm Wait for a man who makes you smile and laugh until your smile muscles are sore and you wonder why you never smiled like this before who says he's thinking of you even five minutes after you were together who asks if you are home okay after you left him
Read more

Things don't suck...and other lies I tell myself

Image
Things do not suck.  Okay, let's be honest, maybe they suck a little.  I'm an eternal optimist, one of those people who irritate those  who never want to look at the bright side,  who are happy to point out what's bad  about the world and don't think they  have anything to be grateful for. I pride myself on being grateful and on being optimistic. But truly, lately things, well, they kind of suck. First, I'm a mom.  Greatest honor of my life.   My daughter is awesome.  Sarcastic, sharp tongued, witty, intelligent,  strong-willed, ambitions, driven, argumentative and isn't easily swayed.   She's the best thing that ever happened to me.   So what could go wrong, you ask?  Okay, well, she had the audacity,  after 18 years of care, worry and sacrifice,  to go off to college....four hours away.   Who does that?  Well, my awesome, driven daughter of course. That's what I taught her, after all, to go get what she wants
Read more

You never know what you've got....until it's found.....and other hard to imagine moments

Image
Photo credits to D. Fuller Okay, so we all know the expression, you never know what you've got until it's gone.  That doesn't really apply to me.  I usually appreciate what I have, who I have in my life, and the blessings I have been given.  Usually.  I also know how easily the wonderful things in life can be taken in a heartbeat. I'm guessing we pretty much all do.  But, lately, I feel like you never know what you've got until it's found.    A while back, in a sad, weak moment, I reached out to a Facebook friend of mine, late one evening and asked him what men are really looking for in a woman.  His reply was telling and priceless and an omen.  He said, "I have no idea"  and in describing how he got involved with his current girlfriend, "I didn't know what I was looking for until she found me."  Okay, that's beautiful.  And I am so happy for him and his girlfriend.  Truly.  That wasn't necessarily the answer I was l
Read more