Random thoughts and other insecurities

Okay, so it does occur to me that not every post has to be well thought out...some are just plain going to be random and meaningless and just my spouting off thoughts that are well...random.  So here is a thought for today.  I dropped Liz off at school this morning.  Lots of mornings, she rides the bus and lots of mornings I drive her to school...depends on the schedule and what time we wake up and so forth.  We have been having a tough time getting up in the morning because we are both recovering from the flu which kept us mostly in bed for three or four days...good times!! 

Today hasn't started out particularly well, but it is my positive assumption that that means the day has nowhere to go but up...we shall see.  On a high note, amongst the lunch packing and arguing about the usual stuff (Liz is pre-teen...so we argue...parents of tweens, need I say more?), Liz scrounged around to look for her iPod this morning while telling me the spring concert at school (she is in the chorus and plays the flute...and I have Advil at the ready for the practice sessions :) is going to feature a Beatles medley.    Cool.  She asks me if I like the Beatles and essentially hints around wondering if I was a youth when the Beatles were popular.  No, I happily tell her, I was not, however, I do have an appreciation for them nonetheless and she should inquire with her grandmother who was a Beatles fanatic in the day.  

As I drive to school, we listen to Let It Be, Yesterday and Hey Jude.  This puts the morning moving in the right direction.  We sing along and I am excited when the "na na na na na na na" part of Hey Jude arrives and I can joyously sing along.  This is interrupted by Liz removing the iPod from the car aux and stuffing it into her pocket, putting on her gloves, jumping out to grab her stuff...backpack (really heavy, really overloaded, really cute), her lunchbox and her flute.  And she calls out from the open door, "I love you Mom, have a good day, see you after work".  Lovely...this makes my day.  Nothing that happens today is likely to be better than that, truly.  She huffs down the sidewalk, toward the door, glancing back at me quickly.  Of course, despite the fact that we are in the school parking lot, I still drive up a bit so I have a good view of the door and can watch her walk through it.  Might seem kind of silly...she isn't a baby anymore...but I can't help it.  I need to see her walk through the door, so I can drive off and spend the day at work and know she is relatively happy and reasonably safe.  Maybe this is because I am a helicopter parent...but many are worse than me, so I can accept it.  And maybe it really just has to do with the fact that she is the most important part of my life, the greatest blessing, a gift from God and I am her Mom.  Puts things into perspective, really.